What’s it like to not fit in? To know that because of who or what you are, what you’ve done or has been done to you, or simply what’s happened, you don’t belong? And never will?
And then to have
someone reach out to you, and let you know you do? That you really do belong, and there’s a
place for you equal to everyone else, just as you are?
The eunuch from
Ethiopia knew he didn’t belong. He was a
God-fearer – a worshiper of Yahweh, connected somehow to the community of
Jewish Law and observance that had existed in Ethiopia since the time of
Solomon, and that over the years stayed in touch with the home community in
Israel. But he was a eunuch – castrated
at some point in his life to make him “safe” to work as a court official in
close company with the queen, the princesses and the king’s concubines.
And the Law of
Moses states clearly in Deuteronomy 23:1 that, “No one whose testicles are
crushed or whose penis is cut off shall be admitted to the assembly of the
Lord.” Everyone knew the Law – that because
of his “abnormal” and incomplete sexual identity, when he went to the Temple in
Jerusalem to worship God he could go only so far into it. At home he could not be a full member of the
assembly. The Law of Moses couldn’t be
more clear and final.
Well, maybe not
final. There was that wonderful promise
in Isaiah 56 of the time to come, when the kingdom
of God would appear on Earth, and God says,
To
the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths,
who choose the things that please me
and hold fast my covenant,
I will give, in my house and within my
walls,
a monument and a name better
than sons and daughters;
I will give them an everlasting name
that shall not be cut off.
That was only a
vision, though. It wasn’t real life
anywhere in the world that he knew.
Until he met
Philip, and in spiritual dialogue with Philip learned that in Jesus the promises
of God are fulfilled – that in the community of Jesus, his followers learn to
live them out and make the vision their reality.
That conversation
in the wilderness, apart from the Temple of Jerusalem and the court of
Ethiopia, free of the normal structures and expectations of the day changed the
eunuch’s life. We read that he went home
rejoicing, and we can imagine what he had to tell the other God-fearing eunuchs
he knew – that there is a community of faith, the community of Jesus, in which
the promises of God come true and they even in their undeniable differentness
can belong , alongside and equal to everyone else.
The conversation
in the wilderness also changed Philip. I
wonder if he was excited by it? How can
you not be excited by the experience of being led by a Spirit greater than your
own into helping to heal and change the life of a stranger? To be able to share with someone else what
has changed your life, and have them receive it, and grow because of it, and
thank you for it? And because of the
encounter, because of your own openness to the other person’s questions and
longing, and connecting what you know with what they know of life and truth,
coming t0 discover something new yourself – a bigger understanding of God and
of Jesus and of the kingdom of God than you really knew before, when you were
just on your own and in your own familiar circle?
At which point, I
wonder, did Philip say to himself, “How on earth am I going to tell the people
– the other church members back home, what I have just done and what I have
just learned about the meaning of Jesus and the kingdom of God in our time?” (And I wonder if maybe that question helped
him be at least a little more open to the Spirit’s idea of a bit more of a
missionary journey before reconnecting with his fellow-apostles?)
We know, of
course, that the community as a whole came to affirm the position he took, and
the story of his theology-changing and church-reshaping encounter with the
eunuch came to be part of the story of what it means to follow the risen Jesus.
But it wasn’t
easy. They did struggle with that. The Book of Acts, the Gospels and the letters
to the early churches show how they struggled to grow into the fullness of
Christ and the kingdom. Step by step it
was not easy to let go of traditional practices and age-old interpretations and
expectations, to embrace and grow into the way of Jesus.
We still struggle
today. Not just us; it’s a universal and on-going
challenge for the church.
Several times
over the past few years a few different gay people have asked me whether our
church is accepting of gays and lesbians and people of other sexual
orientations and identities. I’ve told
them on the one hand, yes – that I know this congregation is open and
accepting, that in their own lives and minds and experience they’ve come to
terms with varieties of sexual orientation and would welcome anyone – but also
(knowing this is part of what they are asking) that, no – we have not yet
really explored the issue, and not made a choice whether to be an intentionally
affirming congregation. The answer I get
– not so much spoken, as acted out, is “Thank you, that’s really good. But it’s not enough.” It’s not enough to help them overcome the
still-strong feeling of not belonging.
To turn the
Ethiopian eunuch’s question around to us, I wonder what prevents us from taking
that step? What prevents me from helping
you to take it?
The reason to do
it is not just for the benefit of others who would love to know they fully
belong, and are honoured by God and celebrated by others for who they are. That should be reason enough, but there’s
also personal benefit involved. It has
to do with our growth as well – in our own faith, and our own understanding and
love of the God and of Jesus and of the kingdom of God.
Almost 35 years
ago I was in Boston visiting a friend who is gay, and while there worshipped
with him at the Metropolitan church – one of the first gay-positive churches in
North America. At that time maybe 80-90%
of the congregation was gay and lesbian, and the worship was wonderful –
positive, joyful, affirming, challenging about love and lifestyle and
relationship, and overall very inviting and encouraging. “Those people” because of their struggle to
be recognized and embraced, knew something about God and the good news of God’s
grace that I had yet to learn, and I’m glad I was there that day.
A few years ago I
presided at a home wedding of two gay men – my first and so far my only
same–sex marriage. I was there with the
blessing and support of Session, and as I watched those two men share their
vows just two or three feet in front of me, I was deeply touched by their witness
to the deep and real meaning of marriage.
These were not a man and woman for whom marriage was the logical next
step after love and courtship. These
were two men for whom marriage was a hard choice, and a deeply intentional
commitment and a courageous statement of who they are individually and what
they want to be together.
When we honestly
and humbly open ourselves and our faith to the questions, the longings and the
needs of those who don’t belong and don’t fit in, it’s rare that we don’t grow
ourselves. In the encounter – as long as
we are honestly and humbly open – listening to the other as well as speaking,
and listening together with them for the greater truth and wisdom of God beyond
us all, we ourselves are able to change and to grow in our own understanding
and love of God and God’s kingdom.
And of course
sexuality is not the only issue. There
are all kinds of things that make people feel – make people know, they don’t
fit in and don’t belong – don’t fit into church, maybe never, maybe not any
more -- don’t fit into their families – don’t belong in their community – don’t
really have a place, a place equal to others, in our society.
Are there ways in
which the Spirit of God and of Christ are leading us towards them – as a church
or in our own lives?
Do we find
ourselves sometimes in places beyond the familiar and comfortable?
Meeting people
different than ourselves?
Being called
maybe to open ourselves to their questions and longings?
To discover with
them something more than what we have known so far about Jesus and the kingdom
of God in our time?
What prevents us?
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