Sunday, January 20, 2019

Family: We are One? (sermon for January 20, 2019)


Introduction to today and the next three Sundays:

What makes us tick?  What is really important to us as a church?  In other words, what are our Core Values?

When particular values are important to us, we live them out whether we are aware of them or not.  But being aware of them helps us be more intentional about it, and also helps us look at how well or poorly we understand the values we hold.

Our Core Values just are.  They are part of our spiritual DNA.  They are the foundation upon which our church has been built generation after generation.  They shape our life and mission, and we stand or fall depending on how well we understand our Core Values, and how closely we build upon them.

For the past 4 months our Church Council and other interested members have done some digging to find our Core Values.  For this and the next three Sundays we’re going to look at the four they discovered, lift them up to the light of God, and consider at least a little of what they say about us, and to us.

And by the way, the four Core Values that were discovered are 
  • togetherness as family
  • grace-based love
  • service to the community
  • joy expressed
Prayer:

Loving and holy God,
we thank you for the church we are, and the life we are given. 
We thank you for the particular Spirit
that guides us and shapes us,
which inspires us and draws others to you. 
May you open our hearts and minds,
that we may hear what you say to us
through our shared life and spirit,
and what you call us to become
in the name of Christ and by holiness of Spirit. 
Amen.

Reading:  John 2:1-11

In the Gospel of John things are what they are, and they are also signs and symbols of something else – something bigger, something about God.

In chapter 4, water drawn from a well is just that – what you need when you are thirsty, but it also becomes  a symbol of “living water” and a sign of God’s Spirit flowing through all of life.  In chapter 6, bread is bread that feeds a few thousand hungry people, as well as a sign of God’s food for all our souls.  In chapter 10, shepherds are shepherds who take care of sheep, and they also remind us of God’s self-sacrificial care for all of us.

In chapter 2, the Gospel of John starts to tell the story of Jesus with a wedding that he and his disciples go to because they are invited, that he saves from falling apart at the end when the people there do what he says.  And it’s more than that: the way the wedding goes is John’s way of saying what the rest of the Gospel is about, and the turning of ordinary water into the finest of wine is a symbol of the miracle of our lives when we too are willing to do as Jesus tells us.

  
Sermon:  Family – we are one?

Core value number one for Fifty United Church: togetherness as family.  The wording is approximate.  Sometimes it comes out as family unity or community togetherness.  But it comes as no surprise that this is one of our core values.

When I first began in ministry here over 17 years ago, one of the things I brought to Session (we still had Session and Stewards back then) was the idea of using name tags in worship and at church events, to identify ourselves more easily to newcomers and help them feel a little more at home by getting to know our names, and us knowing their names a little more easily.  It was something I had read in book that churches “should do” and the response was quick and sure, and pretty well unanimous: that we don’t need to do that because we all know one another pretty well. 

And that was true.  Over the years I’ve seen how members of this church really do get to know one another, care for one another, and care about one another.  How many times am I told just before worship on Sunday morning to be sure to mention so-and-so’s 80th or 60th or 73rd birthday?  Or that Mr and Mrs Whoever celebrated their anniversary Thursday?  Or that someone is in the hospital?  Or someone else’s family member or close friend is really sick?

The pastoral care that is shared in this congregation is tremendous.  The regular phone calls with those who are alone or struggling.  The visits that are made.  The prayers that are said by those who do it officially as part of the Prayer Circle, and those who do it just because they care, take the time to know how people are doing, and make the time to pray for them.

This is a family church in almost every sense of the word.  Organizationally a family church is usually smallish – up to maybe 100 members, is shaped around relationships more than around structure and program, and is led by a few key individuals more than by any organizational flow chart.  Historically a family church normally has a few key families who have given the church stability over the generations.  Spiritually a family church feels like a family where everyone has a place at the table, and people love being at the table together.

Like last week after the confirmation service and the coffee time after in the Lower Hall, the way the four families of the confirmands – twenty or more people altogether, gathered across the road at the vanDuzer’s home for a meal.  What a sight it was to see that many people gathered around a cobbled-together, single long table that stretched between two rooms, sharing a meal to celebrate the confirmation of Emily, Emily, Megan and Sarah with food, drink and happy conversation.  It was like a great wedding feast.  And isn’t that what Fifty is at its best, every time we gather for whatever reason?

And who doesn’t want to be part of that?  Who wouldn’t want to be part of a family feast that flows that full and free and rich?

But … is that all that family is?  And is it always that?

We are human, and the family that we are – even as a church, is also human.  Which means there is also another side to the story.

Family, for instance – especially a family that has a strong sense of their own story and a deeply engrained self-identity, can be more closed and exclusive than they realize.  Because yes, “we all know one another pretty well,” but what about those who really do not? 

When Kathy Roussy was here she lived in both worlds.  She got involved, got to know people well and became one of the family, but she was also still a newcomer and knew the barriers newcomers face.  So whenever she made an announcement before worship she made a practice of introducing herself first-name-and-last, so anyone who wasn’t quite sure who she was yet, would get to know who she was and feel comfortable in approaching her.  And how well have we learned to maintain that practice?  One problem with strong family is that the members don’t notice the boundaries that others have to cross to join in, and the way those boundaries can be barriers. 

And other problems come up in any human family.  When someone gets hurt, it hurts all the more when it comes from someone whom you thought you were family with.  We get hurt in the world all the time and we deal with it because what can you expect in the world?  But when family hurts you – even if it’s only one member, if the rest don’t notice and don’t try to do anything about it, how do you deal with that?  How does that kind of hurt not really hurt you bad?

And what about if you just feel you don’t fit in?  You want to, you’re maybe even desperate to fit in and be accepted, but what if who you are, what you have to offer and what’s important to you just don’t seem to fit the family profile, or be part of the family story as much as you wish they were?  If the family doesn’t find a way to make your story part of their story, what do you do?  Where do you go?

Sometimes the feast we are as human family isn’t enough to give everyone all they need.  Sometimes the wine we count on to lift our spirit to the level of church and Christian community isn’t quite as rich, quite as plentiful, quite as good as we and others need it to be, for us to be the kind of family we aspire to be, and are called to be.

Which leads us to the Gospel.  And the story of Jesus at the wedding in Cana.

In the story, there is no indication that this was a bad wedding.  Yeah, the wine ran out.  But weddings there went on for days, and the story doesn’t tell us how many hours or even how many days of good feasting and drinking were enjoyed before it ran out.  Nor does it say if maybe more guests showed up than were expected, or people were drinking more than they usually did.  All kinds of things can happen to skew a family party, no matter how well planned.

So the story just says “when the wine ran out,” as though that was not an uncommon occurrence, but something everyone expected to happen at some point.  And the response of the steward of the feast suggests that the usual solution was just to go to the back of the cellar, get the poorer and cheaper stuff, and assume no one will know the difference.  There was good wine to get the party started, and now we can coast with second-best. 

And isn’t that a temptation we face?  To recycle what we used to be?  To remember how good things used to be, and assume that the memory of that is enough to carry us, to cover up the second-rate or second-hand wine we might have now?   To settle for something less than the best of spirit for the family feast we want to be? 

That’s the time, though – when things start to run thin and run out, to turn in a new way to Jesus, and in the words of his mother, to “do whatever he tells you.”

I wonder what this means.

Maybe it means remembering that this is really not our family as much as we think, but a family of God, made up of brothers and sisters of Jesus, of which we are just privileged (not entitled) along with others to be members. 

Remembering maybe that this congregation is his body, not ours.  And that the door to this church is his to open (and to close?), not ours.

Maybe remembering that the story we share here is the story of God’s work, of Christ’s appearance, of the holy Spirit’s activity in Winona, not just the stories of our own homes and families.

That when someone is hurt here, it’s a wound within his body that affects us all, and if we don’t look for healing in the way he encourages us, it’s a wound we all carry and are affected by for a long, long time.

And as for the differences and variety among us in who we are and what we bring, that the spirit of God is bigger than the little bit we have felt so far in our sails, that the word of God leads us in more directions than we can control, and that the good purpose of God is something we always are called to grow into in new ways.

Because this really is an amazing family we are called to be – that we have been for a long time, are still, that God wants us to be for a long time yet, and that the world around us – our most immediate neighbours here in Winona, still need us to be as well.

And as long as Jesus, the Christ, is here with us and we are ready to do whatever he tells us, the togetherness we find as family in him is a really good part of the foundation we are given to build on.  It’s a Core Value we can be proud of, even as we keep growing into it.

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