Mothers Day:
In some
churches, today is celebrated also as “Christian Family Sunday,” and as one
minister puts it, “Christian Family Sunday is not just about the
nuclear family that goes to church together, nor about family related by blood
or adoption and who likely live in the same house; it is about the family of
God, above and beyond that nuclear family.”
Reading: John 15:9-17
The reading is part of what is known as The Upper Room Discourse in the Gospel of John. Jesus and his disciples are sharing the Last Supper, and he is preparing them for his death, his resurrection, the flowing of his Spirit among them, and their continued mission for the rest of their lives to reveal the kingdom of God at work in the world as he has made it known to them.
In this story, the disciples express grief at the looming death of Jesus, mistrust about themselves, suspicion about one another, and anxiety about the future. Jesus speaks of his continuing love for them as his friends, and of his faith in them as fruitful servants of God’s love at work in the world.
As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commands, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and abide in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved
you. Greater love has no one than this:
to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
You are my friends if you do what I command. I longer call you servants, because a servant
does not know their master’s business.
Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from
my Father I have made known to you. You
did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and
bear fruit – fruit that will last – and so that whatever you ask in my name the
Father will give you. This is my
command: Love each other.
Meditation
Play nice! Don’t fight! Don’t hit your sister! Take care of your little brother!
Might those four be among the Top Ten Things you might hear a mother say? Or any parent?
What mother – or father, for that matter, does not want their brood to get along? Be helpful to one another? Supportive of one another?
And is there any greater heartbreak for a mom, or any parent, when their children are at odds and estranged from one another? Or even just at a distance and out of touch?
Over the past six or seven months one thing that’s happened in my family on my dad’s side is that the cousins – all the children of my dad and his five sisters, living across the country from Vancouver to Peterborough, have been having Zoom reunions. For some of us it’s been decades since we’ve seen one another, talked, or been in touch. And every time we all meet now by Zoom and visit for a few hours at a time, somebody says “Our moms would be so happy to see us doing this. Being together as family was always so important to them.” And we all agree.
It’s like Jesus says to his disciples at the Last Supper – which was a Passover meal, the epitome of family-based faithful practice among his people – “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Abide in my love … that I may be happy in you, and your happiness may be complete. This is what the Father desires, and what the whole business is about: to love as you are loved. So, this is the command: Love each other.”
It’s not always easy. Just being a disciple of Jesus doesn’t make it easy. In fact, being a disciple of Jesus makes it especially hard, because Jesus has this habit of drawing together the most disparate people as his family.
There are actual brothers among Jesus’ disciples. Two sets of them, actually – Simon and Andrew, and James and John – two sons of Zebedee. And that’s actually where some of the trouble starts, like the time when Jesus is about to enter the city of Jerusalem, people think he’s about to bring in God’s kingdom, and James’ and John’s mother comes to Jesus and asks him to make her two boys his special lieutenants in the kingdom by giving them a place on his right and left side. Make the kingdom a nice family affair.
This is one of those times when a mother’s special love for her own flesh and blood above others isn’t what Jesus has in mind. Because he keeps expanding the circle. He keeps opening the door to let others in, adding all kinds of other people to the roster of brothers and sisters with a place at the table. Tax collectors and sinners. People they meet along the way. Lepers and lame folk. Women, too. In one case, a woman of Samaria! And even more unexpected, a Syro-Phoenician woman!!
Jesus doesn’t make family life easy. And after his death and resurrection, it only gets more challenging. After ascension to heaven, one of the first things he does is call Paul – still known as Saul of Tarsus, super-persecutor and even killer of his followers, to become part of the family, too. To be an honoured and leading member no less!
How hard was that for Peter and the others to accept? He was their sworn enemy. Their greatest nightmare. And they were to accept him now as a brother? A brother, it turns out, who begins began to take the whole family in a new direction – out among the Gentiles! Step by step he changes the family’s whole identity and self-image.
And there are others along the way. The Ethiopian eunuch – a foreign bureaucrat of another land and culture, who gets entrusted with the good news of God for his part of the world without any “family supervision” or vetting. The warden of the jail in Philippi who actually locks Peter and John into their cells, then gets feted as a beloved sibling. One after another, there are people so different from – even opposed to the disciples, of whom Jesus says, “Oh, by the way, he’s your brother, too. His whole family, in fact, are part of us. So, share with them what you know and what you’ve been given. The circle and the table are a bit bigger – and quite a bit different, than you thought.”
One of Japhia’s favourite stories about her daughter Tiffany is from when Tiffany was still in public school and was telling her mom about her new friend at school. She said he was really neat and a lot of fun and she liked playing with him. So, one day in the park Japhia said, “Which one is your new friend? I’d like to meet him.” Tiffany pointed and said, “He’s over there. The one in the green shorts.”
Japhia looked. And there he was. The only kid in green shorts. And, what Tiffany neglected to mention and either didn’t notice or think worth mentioning, is that he was also the only kid of the bunch who was black. But it was the colour of his shorts, not the colour of his skin, that was significant. One of Japhia’s proudest moments as a mom.
This is the same Tiffany who years later when she was working at a group home for mentally challenged adults, brought them all over to our house for a barbecue, and in the course of the afternoon oh-so-naturally introduced us to one of the group who was sitting on the kitchen floor mewing like a cat, as “Oh yeah, that’s Charlie; he likes to mew like a cat sometimes.”
At another point, learning we gave someone named Tim a drink of water because he said he was thirsty, she immediately and happily took Tim by the hand and led him to the bathroom because she knew he’d need to pee almost right away, and would do it wherever he was. Later in the afternoon she nonchalantly advised us to put away a fancy chess board because Charlotte was likely to put the pieces in her mouth. Just before she burst out laughing long and hard with Jimmy when he let out a big and smelly fart.
To her, they were all family. She accepted each one for who they were. Each one was part of the circle and had a place, equal to hers and equal to ours, at the table. She not only welcomed them with open arms and heart; she let herself and the family be transformed by them.
Not surprising that years later, married and a mom with two kids herself, living in a town house condo development it was her and her husband’s driveway that had the barbecue rather than a car in it as a constant gathering spot for neighbours, with a standing invitation to anyone to drop by as they wished for a beer or a hot dog, and open door that all kinds of people felt easy about entering, bearing witness in her own way to an understanding and a practice of family, of community, and of kingdom whose inclusivity, fluidity and welcoming openness are still more than I’m entirely comfortable with in my own life, but that remind me of what Jesus says:
“This is the command. This is what this business of God is all about. This is what makes me happy in you, and makes your happiness complete.
“Love one another. Love whoever we meet, and whoever I lead you to along the way. Love them as brother and sister. Love them as you have been loved.”
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