Monday, March 02, 2020

Growing Gratitude ... in the shadow of the tree of the knowing of right and wrong (Lent 1 - March 1, 2020)


Reading:  Genesis 2:15-17; 3:1-9



Years ago in another life a group of us attending a half-day team-building retreat were advised by an ex-monk (“ex” because he fell in love and married, and had to find another line of work) – that something we should never do if we want to feel positive and grateful is start the day reading the morning paper or watching the news on TV. 

It’s mostly bad stuff that makes the news and who needs to start their day with a negatively-skewed view of the world?  To get our attention, it’s often sensationalized and made to sound so apocalyptic that before we’re even out the door we feel we’re under a cloud of doom.  Plus, a steady diet of bad news over-stimulates our moral sense – our capacity to form judgements between right and wrong, and good and bad; hearing bad news we automatically think we have to decide who or what is right or wrong, who’s to blame, and whose side we need to be on.

Our ability to make moral judgements is one of our gifts.  But our moral capacity is also a curse.  Too constantly it pushes us to draw hard and fast lines in life between what’s right and wrong, between who is good and bad.  The things we see wrong or bad in the world and in ourselves often lead us to despise rather than to prize others, and to feel angry, bitter or rueful about ourselves and our own lives, instead of grateful.

A number of years ago the Thanksgiving issue of the New York Times featured an essay titled something like “Today I Give Thanks for my MS”.  It seemed odd I had to read it.  In it the author wrote – as expected, about how devastating the initial diagnosis of her MS was, and how hard it was and still is to live with a number of the symptoms. 

And then she wrote about how having to live with MS forced and invited her to live with a greater intentionality about herself, her overall health and well-being, and the meaning of her life than she ever had before.  Without her MS, she said, given the way she had been living, by the time she was writing she might very well have been dead from a lifetime of bad decisions, and it was mostly living with MS that drove her to make something good of her life.

And she’s not alone.  I googled “MS Thanksgiving” to find her essay and I couldn’t find it because there are too many essays just like it written by others who have found the same thing – that having a chronic disease like MS, or having an addiction, or suffering a major life trauma is no barrier to a life of gratitude, and at times is exactly what they are grateful for because of what it made them take responsibility for, and all the good stuff it helped them become aware of.

Pinball Clemons spoke at the CityKidz Banquet one year.  Beloved athlete, icon, community leader, effervescent inspiration to many, Pinball began life in the care of a poor single mom in an inner-city ghetto that could have been the death of him – if not physically, at least spiritually.  All that stuff in his past, though, he said several times through his speech, was “just information.”  It was neither fate nor the ultimate definition of who he was.  It was only information and it was up to him, with whatever support and help he could find along the way from other people and from his God, to do what he would with it and to move from the given inf0rmation to being able to give inspiration.

Jully Black – a Toronto R and B singer says she learned much the same thing from her mom who is Jamaican, lived much of her life as a servant and suffered a lot of unfortunate circumstances and choices.  She was never defeated by them, though, and didn’t fall into self-pity, bitterness or shame because her motto was “We don’t make mistakes; we make decisions.”  When things go badly by circumstance or by our own choice, rather than dwelling on and sinking into the judgement of how bad, wrong and wronged we have been, we decide what the present moment requires to be good, and to become something to be grateful rather than ungrateful for.

This is not to say there is no evil in the world to stand and fight against, no wrongs to be redressed, no hurt to be healed, no bad choices to be made amends for, no sin to be confessed, repented of, and in need of being forgiven.  But it is to say that beyond all that there is usually more to life than can be grasped in any human judgement of right and wrong or good and bad. 

Diana Butler Bass writes in her book Grateful: The Transformative Power of Giving Thanks, that “every day there are reasons not to feel grateful and not to practice gratitude.  Terrible, distressing, painful, awful things happen all the time…and it is easy to choose ingratitude.  Yet when I watch the news and fear grips my heart about whatever comes next, when a friend is diagnosed with cancer, or when a loved one dies, [I am called towards a better way by that Bible verse I memorized as a child: ‘In everything give thanks.’ 

[Note, though, she says, it] does not say … for everything give thanks.  Gratitude never calls us to give thanks for anything that is evil or unjust, never for violence, lying, oppression or suffering.  Do not be grateful for these things [that we know are wrong.]

“The Greek word is en, which means ‘in, with, within, throughout’  [because] gratitude is an emotion, [a thought, an intention, a disposition or a choice we bring to any situation we are in, and that we pour into any moment we inhabit:] in the here and now, in the past, and in the future; in happiness, in despair; in all things, in all times, in all situations.”

But how do we do this?  By the power of positive thinking?  By closing our eyes to anything bad?  By looking at the world only through rose-coloured glasses?   By changing our name to Pollyanna? 

Or maybe by remembering and recovering what the story of Genesis 2 says we too quickly lose in our obsession with knowing right and wrong, which is the goodness and gratefulness of simply walking daily with God in and through whatever is.

Recently Ernie Aumais passed away.  It was mentioned at the celebration of his life that as a child he suffered deep loss, sorrow and hurt.  He suffered a lot as an adult including ill health and debilitating arthritis.  But instead of becoming embittered, angry and ungrateful, he was an encouraging, helpful, happy, grateful person who helped anyone who knew him also to see and give thanks for how good life can be and how well it can be lived. 

I wonder if part of the reason is that in the midst of whatever came his way, no matter what anxieties, doubts or hurts he felt, no matter what he knew to be wrong with the world, other people and himself, he made sure each day to be in touch with God.  One thing he used was the simple little readings in “Our Daily Bread” – a daily devotional book that a lot of people use, to remind him of God’s goodness and God’s love for him and for all the world no matter what.  When he and Dixie helped out with the monthly prayer service at Orchard Terrace, he always brought a reading from “Our Daily Bread” to share, and it was clear in the way he offered it that it was something he himself had found helpful in whatever he was facing and feeling.

I wonder, thinking about Genesis 2 and the way the knowing of right and wrong makes the first man and woman go hiding in the trees and away from simple walking in gratitude with the God who has given them all things, do we sometimes let our own unsteady knowledge of what’s right and wrong, or good and bad about the world, other people and ourselves become a poor substitute for a daily walk with God and a more steady knowledge of how good God is, and how deep, creative and faithful God’s love and good will really are for us and for all the world?  

I wonder if for life – the life of the world and our life in it, to be truly right and good and something we are deep down grateful for, there is simply no substitute for that daily walk with God – for daily contact with whatever reminds us of the essential, enduring, sustaining goodness at the heart of all that is.  And if the question of growing in gratitude is simply, what’s my back toward that daily walk?

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